Zapped!!! @ Attica Bar review

Disclaimer: Forget the fact that we were out to just have drinks at a nice bar with decent music. Forget the fact that the “we” in question were a bunch of 30-somethings and would feel old no matter where we’d end up. Most of all, forget the fact that this author is a music nazi and would be chin-stroking to any tune that was being played by any given DJ that night.
Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you about this event called Zapped!!! that was held Monday the 29th at Attica Lounge at A-Venue , Makati Avenue.

I was with friends and relatives from overseas spending their holidays here in Manila and A-Venue was suggested as a place to get some alcohol on and maybe listen to some decent tunes. God knows if I knew it was going to be an Electro-Clash night I would’ve promptly said ‘see ya’ and gone home. In any case we arrived to a sparsely occupied first floor and seated-to-capacity second. For those who’ve been to this place, you know that Attica isn’t the most spacious and well laid out venue. So we were relegated to the ground floor where, besides a group of 3 young lads who were deep in conversation, our party of 6 was the only sign of life. We proceeded to order drinks of which took forever to be served and when they did arrive they were either served in inappropriate glasses (eg. martinis in margarita glasses) or mixed incorrectly (slushy, curiously green-colored drinks all around).
Once I was over the shocking drinks and the slowest bar service I’d ever experienced, my music-nazi ears tuned into the tracks that were playing and the horrendous DJ at the helm. Now the flyer for the night said that the night was “Electrified by music junkies Erwin E. (CURV), CHIE! (Future), Diego Mapa (Pedicab)” and boy I wish I knew who to point my hating finger at. I had never heard so many trainwrecks in my life! It almost sounded like he wasn’t using headphones to cue tracks up but just winging it because the beats were NOWHERE close to matching up. For those who sort of know about beatmatching, I swear, its as if he was playing one track at 126bpm and the one coming in was at 122bpm with no pitch adjustments! I’d be happier if he just completely stopped the first track then hit play on the second. It was that bad and to think this guy was getting paid whilst self -righteous bastards like me play for free for the love of music hehe. I really couldn’t care less about the tune selection anymore (The Kills and the like were being played) but even my non-house/techno/whatever companions that night had their collective eyebrows raised and so sarcastic quips like “Oh that was a good transition” were shared and enjoyed.
To be fair the whole night wasn’t victim to this “DJ”. At around half past midnight the music changed considerably to dirty Electro (still with a dash of Indie unfortunately) and we found ourselves bobbing our heads along. Not long after, the music again transformed, this time to the advertised Electro Clash. Internal groans abound within me. The remaining 3 in our merry bunch made it to the second floor by this time where we found amusement at the fact that everyone was probably under 30 years old. The tunes at this hour were ranging from cheesey prog house to mash-ups of eighties songs from the likes of Tears For Fears (what a shame as I love that band) and even some Filipino tunes. Suffice to say I was finding it hard to enjoy myself and the only saving grace was that I was entertained by how the sound these kids were so into was the big thing in Sydney 4 bloody years ago. To cap off the night there was this female going around taking photos of random people holding up a vinyl record of the soundtrack to the 80’s film Zapped!!!. Said girl finally went up to me to get me to pose with said record. I respectfully declined to which she recoiled in horror and gave a look that seemed to say “What?!? You don’t wanna have a photo record of yourself pretending to enjoy in a trendy club with musically clueless youngsters holding up a vintage LP of the soundtrack to a movie that introduced you to the world of hot teenage girls having their knickers blown off by randy telekenetically-powered Charles In Charge star Scott Baio?!?”
Happy New Year everyone!
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