The Gospel According To Ken Masters

I’m Ken Masters! Whoo!
I’d like to first take this opportunity to thank VideoGaymes for letting me write this special feature editorial. Also, I’d like to thank the millions of awesome Street Fighter fans who’ve supported me all these years. It’s been an awesome ride guys. You all rock.
So I’m a “bad news first” kind of guy so let me clear the air and officially announce that Eliza and I have filed for a divorce. It’s been a great 19 years but we both decided that our lives are heading in separate and very different directions. Eliza wants to have kids now because she says we’re not getting any younger. On the contrary, I feel like a million bucks, man. My Shoryuken has never been as devastating even compared to the first time I developed the flaming version in the original Super Street Fighter. Eliza tells me, “I need to start being responsible and grown-up and raising children is what I need to be happy in life”. So I told her to take a look at Guile and his daughter. You think they look happy? They hardly talk to each other. She does cocaine, sleeps around, and who knows what else. Meanwhile Guile doesn’t seem to care about all that. Every time I run into him all he talks about is Charlie this, Charlie that. I swear, I think Guile went into the Air Force to escape his homosexual tendencies but met Charlie there instead.  Yeesh.

Christian Howard as Ken in Street Fighter Legacy
Well so much for the bad news haha. Now I’m sure most of you guys have seen the awesome Street Fighter short, Street Fighter Legacy, on YouTube. Where’d they get that guy to play me? He could be my freakin’ twin! I should track him down so I can get him to double for me for some of my celebrity appearances. Anyway, the film was pretty well done considering the budget they had but it was way too short at only a little over 3 minutes long. Speaking of movie budgets, I’m working with some Hollywood writers and producers in hopes of getting another Street Fighter movie done, this time with yours truly as the titular hero. I’m extremely excited as the filmmakers want to work closely with me unlike how they did with Chun-Li’s movie.  It’ll still be an origin-type of story so you all will learn about some of my early years and how I got involved with Master Gouki and Ryu. No actors have been decided on but I’m leaning towards getting Chris Evans to play me since he has the build, he’s athletic, he’s a handsome guy, and he has thick eyebrows hehe. As for a director, Uwe Boll has approached us numerous times but I would actually pay the man the director’s fee to just stay the hell away from us.
So, I’ve gotten a lot of messages on my Official Facebook Fan Page and besides the ones related to the new movie project, here are the top questions asked.  So here I am to set the record straight.
What do you think of Mortal Kombat?
I am a fan. There, I said it. I’ll probably get in a whole lot of legal trouble for that but hey, Mortal Kombat is good, gory fun. I’ve actually met and spoken to Sub-Zero, who ain’t the warmest of fellas (ha-ha), on a few separate occasions. That guy Scorpion too, gives me the creeps. What’s with the eyes man? Also, I’ve been told that he is actually Japanese so his English isn’t very good but I think his vocabulary is severely limited. His only reply to anything I said to him was “Get over here!” What a weirdo.
What do you think of the original Street Fighter live-action movie?
It’s crap. It’s terrible. The film makers never asked me for input so I was portrayed as a flippin’ self-absorbed con-artist who had a feud with Sagat. I know, right? I’m fixing this absurdity with the new film we’re working on.
Does it hurt when you do a flaming Shoryuken?
Not the traditional burning sensation but rather a slightly draining feeling as I have to concentrate and draw from my Ki when I do one. What you should be asking my opponents is, “How much does it hurt when you get hit by a flaming Shoryuken in the gut?” Ha-ha.
Alright, that’s it from me. Thanks again to everyone for the support and be sure to keep an eye out for the new Street Fighter film which should be coming in 2012.  Peace, out.
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